The tone of your voice matters

As leaders, it is important to understand the contributions of ‘quiet voices’ we work with. Many years ago, when I was managing a number of teams, I would get my managers into a weekly meeting to discuss a variety of operational matters. One of my managers very rarely contributed anything in our meetings. I sensed that thinking on his feet was not a strong point and that he needed time to work through responses. As I began to understand how his contributions were made, I adapted how decisions were made within this meeting.

For example: if my ‘quiet voice’ manager never said anything in the meeting I carried on with the decisions that were being made. If he spoke, I listened intently to what he had to say and would ask more questions before allowing the team to decide on any action from the discussions. If he ever said he wasn’t sure or didn’t agree on anything being discussed I deferred the decision to outside the meeting or until we met again. This ‘quiet voice’ manager would often come into my office the next day and say ‘I was thinking in the shower this morning’ and then he would proceed to explain and show why he had concerns on something we had been discussing previously. I learnt to trust this man very much. We all had the greatest respect for that ‘quiet voice’. The results from our department were some of the very best across this global company and we would not have achieved these results without the contribution of the ‘quiet voice’.

I have found that when someone is speaking quietly, I shut out the distractions around me and find myself listening intently. On the contrary when someone is speaking loudly, I tend to give cursory notice and don’t pay as much attention.

Marvin J. Ashton said: “Small voices are heard only by those who are willing to listen”. Soft and small voice communications with our associates make priceless friendships possible. I am appreciative of people who find no need to raise their voices as they try to impress or convince. It seems most people who argue and shout have ceased listening to what the small voice could powerfully contribute.

In my home, we try very hard not to raise our voices ever. A young man visiting once said to me that after visiting our home on several occasions he noticed that we do not raise our voices or yell across the house to get someone’s attention. He had observed that we always got up and went to the person to talk rather than call out. I know that this simple act of not raising our voices has increased our ability to listen to each other.

My advice to you is simple, try not to raise your voice ever unless of course there is an emergency. Always listen to the ‘quiet voice’ people around you as they have a lot to say.